All We Are
by randomgirl1200
Summary: Because they weren't perfect, but it was their imperfections that made them all they were, all the are, and all they ever will be. It was their imperfections that made them perfect. Jate's thoughts during defining moments in their relationship.
1. mercy

**an ; **This is my first time writing for Lost, even though it's one of my favorite shows EVER. First of all the sci-fi stuff is just AWESOME, and I feel like the writers have done an amazing job doing characterization and each character has so much depth. I'm kind of insecure about posting this, so I really hope everyone gives me some feedback. If you like it, GREAT! If you hate it, that's cool too, just please let me know why.

This is basically about their thoughts during the turning points in their relationships, though it can be left a once-shot too. This chapter is set in the Pilot. I truly believe the moment Kate wandered out of the jungle looking like an angel in white and sewed up the huge hole in Jack's life was the moment I knew they would end up together. :)

And the AWESOME song used for the title is Angel of Mercy by One Republic.

**disclaimer ; **If I owned Lost, I wouldn't be writing this.

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><p><strong>1. angel of mercy, how did you find me?<strong>

He'd only just gotten on this deserted island and he's already begun saving people, a man whose leg was being crushed, a pregnant woman, and a woman receiving improper CPR. It was who he was, a hero, and everyone back in Los Angeles knew it. He was pretty sure everyone on this island was about to know it too.

Now, if only someone would come save him in return and help him sew up his wound. The universe wasn't fair, he decided. All he ever did was save people but no one could save him in return.

It was as if a higher power had read his thoughts as he saw a flash of light emerging from the trees. His first thought was that he was dying, and God had sent an angel to get him and bring him to heaven.

Then he remembered he didn't believe in God, or angels, or heaven. All he really believed in was death. Reality kicked in and the light transformed into a woman in a white shirt. "Excuse me," he called out. Even when in unbearable pain, he was still a gentleman.

The woman turned to face him and his first thought was that she looked lost and scared, which was exactly how he felt. What made him different was that he never showed his fear.

His second thought was that she was pretty.

"Do you know how to use a needle?"

"What?" she asked, confused. He probably wasn't making any sense, but then again, this whole _situation_ wasn't making any sense either. He struggled with an easier way to explain things to her, "Did you ever…patch a pair of jeans?"

As it turned out, she had sewed the drapes in her apartment, but he was worried he'd frighten her by telling her she needed to sew a wound.

Sure enough, when he showed her his injury she'd breathed in harshly, closed her eyes and turned away.

"I could use a little help," he said. "If you wouldn't mind," he added politely.

Slowly, he was beginning to lose hope. No one had ever saved him before in his _life_, why should this woman be different?

Then she smiled and said, "Of course I'll help you."

And he was starting to wonder if his first impression of her was right, if she _was_ an angel after all.

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><p>Kate Austen hated herself for a lot of reasons.<p>

Her kindergarten teacher used to tell her, "Everyone has a talent, Katie." And that was true, everyone _did_ have a talent, even her.

Too bad her talent was running scared.

But if that was her talent, then the man in front of her was just the opposite. He didn't seem scared at all.

And maybe his courage was contagious, because when he told her she could do this, she'd gotten a warm, tingly feeling she'd never experienced before inside her body, and she felt brave enough to do this, to _help_ someone.

It was times like these that reminded her she _wasn't_ the cold-blooded murderer the police and her mother thought she was.

She listened carefully to the man's story, about him sewing a girl up, and she decided to suck it up and be brave, because he could do this for thousands of people, at least she should be able to do this _once_.

He was brave, more so than she could ever be in her entire life.

"If that were me, I'd probably have run for the door," she confessed.

"No, I don't think that's true." She looked up in her surprise, about to laugh at him for assuming false things about her when he knew _nothing_ about how she was or what she'd done. He'd need strong evidence to prove his point.

"You're not running now," he continued.

That would suffice.

And the warm, tingly feeling came again.

He seemed like he was believing in her, and that was more than anyone in her entire life had done.

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><p>When the woman had finished her remarkably good job on his wound, she stepped back from him and gave him a smile. It was small and rather weak, but it seemed to be coming from a genuine place. And suddenly the air around him became lighter, and his thoughts seemed clearer. The air smelled deliciously of the ocean, palm trees, peroxide and hope.<p>

_Hope_, that was something he couldn't recall ever feeling. So how was it that a pretty stranger whose name he didn't know could make him feel something no one had ever made him feel before?

"Feel better," she told him shyly, but she didn't have to tell him, he already did.

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><p><strong>an ; <strong>Was that awful? _*holds head down meekly* _Anyways, just CLICK THAT LITTLE BUTTON DOWN THERE…please? :)


	2. don't panic

**LostInLost18 ; **I'll always owe you, because you're my FIRST Lost reviewer. I'm incredibly flattered by what you wrote. _*blushes*_ Especially since you're such an AWESOME writer. Ironically, your Lost story "Back to You" was the first Lost fanfic I'd ever read, and you're also by first reviewer for this show too. :) Thanks SOO much.

**p ; **Thanks, and I'm definitely writing more now, even now it's taken me awhile to update. ;)

**lostindallas62 ; **It's really weird that you should mention how they heal each other a lot, because this factor is going to be addressed a LOT in this story. Thanks a million for your nice comment and glad I could give you a reminder. :D

**hpabhi ; **Aww, I miss them too. Lost was really an epic show like no other and I do wish it was still on air. Hopefully you can remember them by reading fanfics and THANK YOU for reviewing. :)

**an ; **Truthfully, I wasn't expecting any kind of reaction to this story, since usually when you write for a new fandom you don't really get ANY reviews, so I was super touched by the reviewers. Thank you SOO much, this chapter is definitely dedicated to you, because you took time out of your lives to do something completely unnecessary, and along with it have made one amateur writer VERY happy. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, THANKS! I'm really not lying, feeling like someone is actually ACKNOWLEDGING the stuff I write is very heart-warming.

This chapter is set in episode 2x09, and I probably don't need to tell any reader this but it's when Jate had their first kiss. I always felt like it was really sweet and passionate but it wasn't really addressed all that much during the show except for that one time in 2x19, where Jack told Kate he wasn't sorry she kissed him, and even then Michael came prancing out of the jungle, so they couldn't really talk about it. Last chapter was more of in Jack's POV, so this time I wanted to try and get into Kate's brain for a bit. As you might have been able to guess from the title, it's a lot about running and what it means to her. The song title is from the song Don't Panic by Coldplay.

Anyways, please REVIEW! I'd really like to hear what you think since I'm kinda insecure about this chapter.

**disclaimer; **See previous chapter. :p

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><p><strong>2. there's nothing here to run from<strong>

To Kate, running was the best feeling in the world. Feeling the wind in her hair and the solid ground beneath her feet was like perfection. Being strong and brave and free was like paradise. Running was like heaven.

But when Kate was older, running stopped being much of a hobby as it was a lifestyle. She didn't just run literally, she ran metaphorically too, all the time. Her everyday life simply became avoiding places, avoiding people, avoiding occurrences and most of all, avoiding _herself_. Running came hand-in-hand with unhappiness. But she'd assumed _not_ running would lead to unhappiness as well, she wouldn't know if her assumption was true, after all, running was all she'd ever known. It was as if she were stuck in a loop, running in circles, but she never knew what she was running towards.

Running stopped being her heaven and became her hell.

Then, a breakthrough arrived in her life. Whether it was good or bad, to this day Kate still hadn't figured it out, but it was definitely a change.

After her plane crashed on an island, Kate realized what it meant to really stay in one place. She had an anchor, a feeling that everything was solid and _real_ and wouldn't disappear in a few days time. And no matter where she ran, she was still in the same place, with the same people, with the same identity.

She liked this change. And running on the island was like running when she was a child, because she knew that there was always something or someone waiting for her when she finished running. She had a _destination._

But as she soon discovered, the island wasn't all about fun and games and waiting for a rescue boat. There were so many uncertainties and mysteries surrounding it, and Kate had had enough of it back home, she definitely didn't want any more now.

Then suddenly Jack came, breaking her train of thought.

Jack Shephard, was someone she'd never be able to figure out. Sometimes he was warm and kind and intense, other times he was ruthless and cold and hard. And she wondered if any of these facades represented the real him. But she respected him more than anyone on the island, he just had this _quality_ that made her want to trust him and believe in him.

She couldn't recall anyone stirring up that much confidence in her before.

But as nice as Jack made her feel, he also made her feel like a disappointment too. And she knew she was one, especially compared to his perfect character. It pained her to think that in the real world, a respectable, wealthy doctor like him would probably never give a fugitive who'd spent her whole life running scared. Sometimes, he could make her feel like the most worthless creature on the planet, without even meaning to.

Now was one of those "sometimes". Not being able to bear it any longer, she lashed out at him, feeling all her pent-up frustrations and emotions bubbling to the surface. And being the peace-keeping leader, naturally he didn't yell back.

Many people in her life had held her close and whispered that everything was going to be alright like he was doing now, but nobody had ever made her _believe_ everything would truly be alright.

Nobody except Jack.

It felt strange being so close to him. It wasn't exactly the first time she'd been within close proximity of him, but the moment had never been this intense and emotional. He'd always been too busy playing Superman to everybody else to console her.

He was warm and real and _there_, just like the island.

She liked the island, so she supposed she liked him to. Cupping his cheeks, she pulled him in for a soft, sweet kiss.

It was raw and unplanned and absolutely _perfect_.

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><p>Ever since he'd got on this island, he'd begun saving people, and to this day he maintained that the only one who ever <em>really<em> saved him back was Kate. And he loved being a hero, it was just what he did. He couldn't imagine his life without being the way he was.

But every Superman needed a Lois Lane, right? He wasn't some walking cliché who put on a brave face for the world but was incredibly vulnerable inside, because there wasn't really anything to be vulnerable _about_. But most days, he was just tired and confused and did he mention tired? But he wasn't scared, he was never scared.

Sometimes, he just needed someone to make him feel _good_.

Kate did exactly that, but good would be an understatement to how he was feeling now.

He'd never been kissed like this before. Pouring all his emotion and passion into one kiss. His kisses with Sarah were mostly meaningless little pecks even in the early stages of their relationship, and after awhile the kisses ceased completely. He never really understood the whole "live like you're dying" thing until now, when Kate was kissing him like they'd never see each other again, like they'd never kiss each other again.

And watching regret flash across her face after she pulled away, he realized that might be true.

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><p>When she pulled away, what she was feeling wasn't <em>regret<em>, it was fear, a feeling she was all too familiar with. What she feared was something she couldn't pinpoint though. Was she afraid Jack didn't feel the same way she felt? But what _did_ she feel? Being on the island didn't really leave her time to mull over things like this.

Reaching a situation like this, Kate knew there was only one solution, to do what she did best-run. Tears nearly fell from her eyes, because she knew no-one, not even a man as perfect and God-like as Jack would be able to forgive her after this. Their relationship and dynamic would never be the same.

And as she ran, she realized that the best feeling in the world wasn't running, it was kissing Jack.

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><p><strong>an; <strong>So, any thoughts? LET ME KNOW! Especially since I'm getting my exam results soon and I need some reviews to cushion my fall if I get bad grades. Seriously though, I was super hesitant about uploading this, since I feel that it's kinda pointless and there are no dialogues even though I got a bit wordy. So please review. :D


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